Dear Always-a-Bridesmaid | Dear Wedding Series

So I thought this series was done. But I had a conversation this week - it reminded me of the time before Cal. The time when I was alone. When all of my friends were getting engaged, married, then moving into a house with their new husband. I never thought it would end.

Dear Always-a-Bridesmaid,

She's engaged! Yay! (As you try to muster up enough excitement to look genuine.) Your college sorority sister has been dating her perfect boyfriend since freshman year, and he finally proposed the day before graduation. Meanwhile, you've really only had a few short relationships, but nothing that you could see lasting forever. If you're like me, you've been invited to A TON of weddings, and you've been in most of them. Honestly, it's not that you aren't happy for her. You are. (I was, honest!) But to see other people get what you've always wanted over and over again, it reminds you of being lonely.

Why are we here? This is a big question, one that I answer based on my faith in God. First, let me answer by telling you why we are not here. We are not here to become wives. We are not here to be happy. We are not here to have a house, or a family, or a minivan. Those things are all very nice, and not bad to want - or have - but they will never fulfill us. They will always be a stepping stone to the next thing: another child, a newer car, a bigger house, a better job, retirement, etc. We are here to live in fellowship with our Creator. We exist to glorify Him in any life stage. Whether you are waiting on your Prince Charming to come along, or you're waiting for your boyfriend to pop the question, you can still have a purpose.

Young woman who wants nothing more than to find a man to make her feel secure, he won't be enough. Girl who has been a bridesmaid more times than she can count, you can find joy in the waiting. You have purpose. Do not let this worldly notion of being exactly like everyone else keep you from experiencing your full potential as an individual. And trust me, getting married will not solve your loneliness. It will not fix your problems. Marriage, while wonderful and worthwhile, will bring challenges you never thought existed. Only one thing in the entire universe can comfort you in every situation: Jesus.

I hate to sound cliche, but all good things are worth the wait. I dated a few guys before meeting Cal. Those relationships weren't all bad. The guys weren't terrible people. But I was expecting them to be something they weren't. Instead of living my singlehood in prayer, I tried to get out of it. Being a wife was something I wanted, so I was going to get it. After two relatively serious and lengthy relationships, I decided to try a new plan. I would be single and I would be lonely. I would let myself, make myself wait for the type of man God would have for me. And if he never came, I was going to be okay with it. I was single for about a year and a half before I met Cal. When I met him, it wasn't love at first sight. There were no butterflies. Over time, we developed a friendship, went out for coffee and dinner a few times, then I realized that God had sent him into my life. He didn't complete me. He didn't save me. Only Jesus could do that. But Cal provided Earthly companionship in a way I never expected. I just had to be patient. Now, I can't imagine loving anyone more.

Maybe you'll keep looking around at all the things you don't have. Maybe your closet is packed with the dresses "you can wear again." If that's you, I remember what it feels like. I'm the girl who caught 7 bouquets, remember? Hold onto the hope that your worth, value, purpose, future all belong to Jesus. Let Him satisfy the desires of your heart. He is perfect. Trust me...my husband ain't perfect. Yours won't be either.

Love, Sterling

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 73: 25-26

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